embarrassing for donald’s trash judge Aileen “glub glub LAWWW” cannon
really like mehmet “doctor” oz’s new campaign slogan “i know the gina in vagina”
really like doug mastrianos new campaign slogan “vote for me so i can make elections optional”
black women are gonna keep donald and fascist criminals accountable while white men sit around holding their dicks
sings to here comes the sun
here comes the pain, do do donald
ron desantis going to prison for human trafficking should be a splendid end to this year of accountability
really like herschel walker’s new campaign slogan “i not smart. my opponent smart. so vote me”
(this is not a fucking joke)
when I say I have faith in the system this is what I mean. donald can try his best to fuck with it, game it, rig it, drag it out, install minions in it, but at a certain point he inevitably runs headfirst into the goddamn brick wall that is foundational American democratic institutions
watching the eagles game last night in a bar
they show bradley cooper in the stadium, who’s an eagles fan
white guy next to me: i love bradley cooper, have you watched silver linings playbook
me: yeah it’s a good movie
white guy: hey you were in the movie
me:
white guy:
me: yes there was indeed an indian actor in the movie
white guy: sorry man just kidding didnt mean to stereotype you
me: no worries man i stereotype white people all the time
restaurants need to come up with a way for patrons to tip other patrons who are being nice to their servers
really like mehmet “doctor” oz’s new campaign slogan “:) (i smile at you)”
really like doug mastrianos new campaign slogan “spread wide the crack in your heart and slide me in”
a country capable of electing a horrifically mediocre performative imbecile like marjorie taylor greene into office does not deserve to have good things
how much doom can one brain gloom? stay tuned
really like mehmet “doctor” oz’s new campaign slogan “I can spell Senate”
really like doug mastrianos new campaign slogan “we’re here and we’re queer (for Jesus)”
every time I see a fetterman sign in upstate rural pa I feel safe somewhat
bought self serve firewood from a local resident
me: one stack cost 25 bucks but I didn’t have a fiver so I put 30 in his mailbox. I’ll put 20 in his mailbox when I buy another stack tomorrow
wife: why didn’t you just buy two stacks today
me: this is why I shouldn’t be allowed to leave the house unsupervised
I have finally found the hot but not overly vinegary buffalo chicken wings I’ve been looking for in a sports bar in the little Pennsylvania mountain top town of mountain top
really like mehmet “doctor” oz’s new campaign slogan “I’ll change my face if you don’t like it”
I really like doug mastrianos new campaign slogan “tickle my balls and i’ll lick your butthole”
hear me out: if you refuse to say whether you’ll acknowledge the results of an election it should disqualify you from running in it
old people are all haha climate change deal with it like you deal with my diapers also I’m gonna vote for more climate change because why the fuck do I care
soldiers sitting around a campfire in valley forge. one says it’s probably time to turn in because tomorrow’s gonna be another hard day of dysentery and shitting in the snow and another soldier probably me says no let’s stay up put more wood on the fire and here’s why.
just read an article on how Midwestern farmers accept climate change but still vote gop because guess what it rhymes with shite supremacism