fucking hilarious to see a guy who’s so used to getting away with crimes as a CEO that he’s simply incapable of grasping the idea of being held accountable for crimes as a president

I see the orange man is dangling off a tree in Florida flinging feces at whoever approaches

elon musk is so conventionally stupid. this is what most people are finding really hard to believe. a man who’s worth so much money, yet someone who’s not just failing to answer the hard questions, but not even recognizing that the easy questions have already been answered.

feeling bad for principled conservatives in the republican party who are unable to enact terrible harmful policies because the crazy wing of the party keeps them from coming into power

I know everyone says this all the time but I have found the best cheesesteak joint in the greater Philadelphia area. and not only do they have really delicious gourmet cheesesteaks but they also have a little stage all set up with various musical instruments so you can walk up and jam alone or with someone else while you wait for your food. which I did with the little green cajon. played a beat to the acoustic music playing in the background and then enjoyed a most excellent garlic butter cheesesteak accompanied by gravy. let’s go birds.

you had dinner in a shitty florida club with an anti semite and a white supremacist. I had lunch with my wife in an inn where George Washington used to hang out. we are not the same

since I left Twitter for the second time yesterday I have bought two pairs of pants, returned one pair of pants, bought a giant tv and hiked the mature woods in my neighborhood where George Washington and his army camped for a month on their way to valley forge #livinglife #thankyouelonmuskrat

it’s hard to enjoy a rap song without knowing the full context of whom the artist is threatening to “leave bloody like menses” and what was instrumental in creating this friction in their relationship

I’m going through an Indian hip hop phase. what would be the quickest way to get up to speed on the inter rapper beef scene

seriously though, a political party that can’t do better than Herschel Walker should find a different day job

donald would break bread with a dung beetle if it called him the greatest president in history and then pretend he didn’t know it was a dung beetle

Herschel Walker gonna lose by no fewer than five points (two touchdowns just so Herschel Walker can understand this tweet)

most bad things in the world are caused by feeble minded men. everything else, religion

Kanye West enters the maralago racially integrated dining room

Kanye: hello maga

Donald: hi Kanye

Kanye: my name is ye now, maga

Donald: did you change your sex to Chinese

Kanye: what

Donald: who is this guy

Kanye: he hates Jews

Donald: welcome friend

Nick Fuentes: don’t mind me my balls are itchy as fuck. there’s a whole genocide going on down there

Kanye: let’s get down to business, maga. I would like to make you the 2024 vice president. I think you good vice president material, maga

Donald: am I having a stroke

Nick Fuentes, twitching: do you have any white bread, don’t even get me started man

Kanye: look maga, you have a problem. all my four kids North South East and West are voting for me. why even run?

Donald, to Nick Fuentes: is this guy for real

Nick Fuentes: Uncle Adolf visits me in my dreams

Kanye: follow the science, maga. you will fly business class on air force ye

Donald: get the fuck out of my racially integrated dining room

Kanye: I will make a video about this, maga

Nick Fuentes, giggling: show him the naked pictures on your phone

Kanye: when he’s vice president

Donald, interested: who you got in there

Kanye: I don’t want to spoil the surprise, maga. so you in?

Nick Fuentes under the table sucking Donald’s dick: I will be available 24/7 at your service. here’s my number hand comes out from under the table

Donald: I’ll think about it

Kanye: ok maga. let’s go dick boy

Nick Fuentes: Ted Cruz?

Kanye: Ted Cruz

Donald: wait i have not come yet

I have done a few things I’m proud of (composed music, dead lifted 310 once, convinced a dog and his owner to love me) but my favorite accomplishment is filling the house with the fragrance of scratch cooked food

moved to a new mastodon server but none of my follows were moved and not all of my followers were moved. my name is Karen and I would like to speak to the manager

watching fire engines and ambulances speed around. happy throw wet turkey into hot oil day

thankful that voters justified my cautious optimism about American democracy

who would’ve thunk the red wave would involve turning Alaska blue

thanksgiving eve dinner: grilled octopus, oysters on the shell and spicy mussels. for tomorrow we beef.

thanksgiving menu: chuck roast low and slow sous vide, seared and sliced and covered in gravy with bacon garlic sauteed brussels sprouts on the side. turkey is a country

your religion sucks ok. you’re demented. you’re being given special treatment that you don’t deserve. you’re intellectually mediocre. in a rational world you would be relegated to the dregs of society. but we have to respect your existence because you have “the religion” fuck you

just spit balling this: perhaps we need to give countries an opportunity to improve their human rights record before allowing them to host a world cup tournament

I need a t-shirt saying “nazism didn’t begin with concentration camps. it began with gas-lighting, hate speech, marginalization and dehumanization” for white suburban holiday party season

that thing where the micro blog Android app is posting my replies 3 times is happening again