one of Jesus' lesser known powers was having hot doggy style sex with a man wearing a suit
gun nuts are so weird I mean the world is full of things to go nuts over, hiking wildlife birds food sports alcohol women sunsets stupid tv shows even nuts there’s so many different kinds of nuts to go nuts over and you chose guns. dumb ass
imagine still thinking donald trump is anything other than a mob boss
inciting violence to fight his inevitable indictments was always his end game. its gonna be funny when the DOJ prosecutor uses this as even more evidence to indict him for january 6 www.washingtonpost.com/politics/…
lest we forget what all this is about,
Stormy Daniels on having an illicit affair with the 45th president of the united states of america donald john trump: “He knows he has an unusual penis. It has a huge mushroom head. Like a toadstool . . . I lay there, annoyed that I was getting fucked by a guy with Yeti pubes and a dick like the mushroom character in Mario Kart . . .”
90% of my job is remember to remind people to remember to do things and 10% adjust my balls so I don’t sit on them
pair of red shouldered hawks just consummated their affection outside my office window and the first chipping sparrow of the year showed up. the big spring migration is on.
if you’re a trump supporter you should clear your entire schedule for the year. you’re gonna be doing a lot of “protesting” babyboy
gets strange low heart rates in the gym
fitbit support: make sure your fitbit is loose enough
me: loosens fitbit
starts getting random heart rate spikes when im doing nothing
fitbit support: make sure your fitbit is tight enough
me: how about you eat my ass
with so much blood on their hands i dont know how libertarians sleep at night
I just realized that my team genuinely believes in work life balance because they are not in charge of a team
if I had to go back to my own country I would have to disintegrate mid air and disperse my molecules into open space
I’m not gonna run away from American fascists. holy shit I literally just found a place where I feel like I belong both legally and mentally. this is my home now and I’ll fight for it. and don’t you fucking dare tell me to go back to my country because I’m already in it.
even though I understand how miniscule and irrelevant I am in the whole scheme of the universe I still can’t stop believing that I’m very important and need to stay alive
if you think donalds indictment is a “political prosecution” you need to explain if he’s clearly innocent and why or if he’s guilty but shouldn’t be prosecuted and why. without these explanations you’re just a domestic terrorist
in a very busy bar
me: can I close out
bartender: take me with you
ted van nukem, a trump nazi
hell yeah a Philadelphia Phillie grand slamming his way to get the USA into the semi finals of the world baseball classic
apparently the Chinese are distressed at the possibility of their favorite American president being arrested and want his redneck supporters to act fast in defending their king
donald is calling upon his terrorists to do violence on Tuesday not because he’s going to be arrested on Tuesday but because he wants everyone to experience a preview on Tuesday of what will happen if he’s eventually arrested. yeah good luck with that strategy you delusional orange buffoon
the trump library will likely be just a roomful of mugshot exhibits
hard to understand why people who will believe anything the bible tells them will also believe anything donald tells them. actually it’s not. its two words that rhyme with kind ringwraith
what better way to cleanse American society of mouth breathing knuckle dragging trump fascists than inciting them into acts of terrorism. you wanna do violence, come at us bro. we still have a few prison vacancies unfilled with January 6 shitsippers
if you are saying donald shouldn’t be indicted for crimes because his supporters will commit acts of terrorism you should listen to yourself then run through a brick wall dick first
donald trump is the chain smoker of crime. just before his previous crime disappears from the news a new crime is discovered