final heat wave of the season. we can get through it, people.
I knew about the remains of this dam that used to power the 18th century mill downstream but today we spotted the start of the mill race channel hidden away to the left of the dam that brought water from the dam down to the mill
plan for the day : stare at this view and read a book
it’s again that time of night when you feel good in the moment, listening to the crickets in the light of a citronella torch
well it was bound to happen a yellow jacket fell into my beer, I drank it and motherfucker stung my tongue. now waiting to see the repercussions
“tens of thousands trapped at the burning man festival”
bro maybe stop flying private jets to desert parties bro
motherfuckers trying so hard to get to my beer. get your own beer, donald
the guy next to me at the bar ordered Boston steak tips and I had never heard of this thing before so I googled it and found this article that was very illuminating in terms of culinary history www.bostonmagazine.com/restauran…
how about crime? is crime a crime?
sitting in an outdoor bar and yellowjackets keep falling into my beer and I have to keep pouring out the beer just to prevent them from drowning. I’m sorry mr nature but can you tell your minions not to fuck with my beer thanks in advance and sorry about the climate
I too believe that vivek ramu would be a splendid turd
I don’t get the joy in watching cars drive around a track but whatever poops your butthole
definitely a serious presidential candidate, this one
I use my first amendment every single day how often do you use your second amendment
vivek ramu, drinking with his dad
dad: so son, what is your platform?
vivek ramu, completely drunk after just one miller lite: HAHA it’s making dumb shitty white people angry at people like you. not me, because I have money. I’m too rich to hate lol. sexily slides off his pants to show them underwear that says “I’m a rich bitch, bitch”.
vivek ramu’s mom, crying: we should’ve aborted him like you said
Texas is transforming into a human rights disaster. we, the citizens of the northeast federation welcome all refugees from Texas. the air smells much sweeter too.
it’s not the long weekend until the fat dog snores. it’s finally here.
I miss the two fledgling doves that hid out for a few days in the tiny wildflower patch in our front yard. even though they left a while ago, the good news is that a lot of the sunflower seeds I put there for them to partake have since then sprouted into plants. I didn’t know it was this easy to grow sunflower plants, that too from shelled seeds. next year the HOA can look forward to seeing a lot of sunflower plants surrounding our townhouse. sue me, lawn nazis
me, opening my goat biryani
dogs staring at me intently
wife: I wonder which type of human food he likes the best
me: oh I know that, he likes..
I suddenly realize that this is a trick question because I’ve been ordered not to feed him scraps
me: ..dog food. that’s his favorite food. food for dogs
it is very satisfying to see all the money donald scammed out of his supporters while attempting a coup being spent in his coup legal defenses
this is fucking awesome. all these trumpy incel insurrectionist losers need to be humiliated daily in this manner www.comicsands.com/peter-nav…
september day 1 is septembering the shit out of south-east Pennsylvania with its sunshine, cool breezes and promises of eagles football
I’m sure we’ll do better because we’re a much more attractive species now
two different bartenders have told me that my new haircut makes me look handsome so thinking of going to the local taxidermist to get my head stuffed and preserved for my loved ones. they deserve it.
the bartender says that I missed the dollar oyster special by five minutes and now I’m an economically anxious white who’s gonna vote for trump