a goose egg

the American ornithological society will be renaming several bird species. here are my suggestions


the American ornithological society is planning on renaming several bird species because many of them were named after awful people americanornithology.org/about/eng… . they have requested birders to send them some new name suggestions. here are mine:

cooper’s hawk: murder copbird

northern cardinal: non-denominational sexybird

american woodcock: breakdance gurubird

canada goose: raucous turdbird

wood duck: handsome ghostbird

carolina wren: noisy nosybird

house wren: hide n seekbird

mourning dove: clumsy but fastbird

blue jay: i scream you scream we all screambird

northern mockingbird: all your song are minebird

red-tailed hawk: everything is my food even your catbird

gray catbird: that extrovert friend you likebird

blue-gray gnatcatcher: angry eyebrowsbird

bald eagle: majestic thiefbird

osprey: seahawks are not a real birdbird

white-breasted nuthatch: gravity is fakebird

brown creeper: the bark is movingbird

mute swan: rage-filled princessbird

carolina chickadee: sweet survivorbird

pileated woodpecker: scream like yolobird

downy woodpecker: multiple concussionbird

red-bellied woodpecker: i don’t actually have a red bellybird

northern flicker: too pretty to be a woodpeckerbird

yellow bellied sapsucker: yellow bellied??? i kill all your treesbird

tufted titmouse: no time gotta gobird

turkey vulture: i will fucking eat you and your family (after you die of natural causes)bird