a goose egg

gop primary candidates finally speak out on Trump's indictment


pence: don’t indict trump even though he tried to kill me because I’m a little bitch. ask my wife. actually, don’t.

desantis: don’t indict trump. or whatever. just make me cult leader when he goes to prison. or doesn’t, whatever. I don’t care man, I’m just chilling. but seriously, why don’t the crazies like me more?

christie: indict trump and give him malaria, tuberculosis and whatever else is available on the dark web. give him smallpox, I know a guy in Jersey. you know what, give me ten minutes alone with him and I’ll give him herpes myself.

ramaswamy: don’t indict trump at least until I’ve made my way from his nutsack to his butthole. I have an app to help me find my way from his butthole to his brain. I’m very rich by the way. I would make a great deputy president.

haley: look, I know for a fact that trump is a person. am I right or what? do you like my giggle? I really don’t know what I’m saying or doing. what would you like to hear, my white christian friends?

tim scott: I like being black because there’s no racism in America. except when I get stopped by Capitol police even though I have a senator’s badge. they pretend to not know who I am lol. fun joke Kyle. I laugh every time you do it to me. and sometimes the cops pull me over even when I’m not speeding. sorry what was the question?