me: I’m going out to the preserve to spot some woodcocks
wife: isn’t that the bird with the sweet dance moves
me: yes
wife: show me the moves
me: does the woodcock shuffle
wife: that’s awesome. what do they sound like
me: does a woodcock peent call
wife: nice. now do the dance and the call together
me: don’t be ridiculous. they don’t dance and sing at the same time