most bad things in the world are caused by feeble minded men. everything else, religion
Kanye West enters the maralago racially integrated dining room
Kanye: hello maga
Donald: hi Kanye
Kanye: my name is ye now, maga
Donald: did you change your sex to Chinese
Kanye: what
Donald: who is this guy
Kanye: he hates Jews
Donald: welcome friend
Nick Fuentes: don’t mind me my balls are itchy as fuck. there’s a whole genocide going on down there
Kanye: let’s get down to business, maga. I would like to make you the 2024 vice president. I think you good vice president material, maga
Donald: am I having a stroke
Nick Fuentes, twitching: do you have any white bread, don’t even get me started man
Kanye: look maga, you have a problem. all my four kids North South East and West are voting for me. why even run?
Donald, to Nick Fuentes: is this guy for real
Nick Fuentes: Uncle Adolf visits me in my dreams
Kanye: follow the science, maga. you will fly business class on air force ye
Donald: get the fuck out of my racially integrated dining room
Kanye: I will make a video about this, maga
Nick Fuentes, giggling: show him the naked pictures on your phone
Kanye: when he’s vice president
Donald, interested: who you got in there
Kanye: I don’t want to spoil the surprise, maga. so you in?
Nick Fuentes under the table sucking Donald’s dick: I will be available 24/7 at your service. here’s my number hand comes out from under the table
Donald: I’ll think about it
Kanye: ok maga. let’s go dick boy
Nick Fuentes: Ted Cruz?
Kanye: Ted Cruz
Donald: wait i have not come yet
I have done a few things I’m proud of (composed music, dead lifted 310 once, convinced a dog and his owner to love me) but my favorite accomplishment is filling the house with the fragrance of scratch cooked food
moved to a new mastodon server but none of my follows were moved and not all of my followers were moved. my name is Karen and I would like to speak to the manager
watching fire engines and ambulances speed around. happy throw wet turkey into hot oil day
thankful that voters justified my cautious optimism about American democracy
who would’ve thunk the red wave would involve turning Alaska blue
thanksgiving eve dinner: grilled octopus, oysters on the shell and spicy mussels. for tomorrow we beef.
thanksgiving menu: chuck roast low and slow sous vide, seared and sliced and covered in gravy with bacon garlic sauteed brussels sprouts on the side. turkey is a country
your religion sucks ok. you’re demented. you’re being given special treatment that you don’t deserve. you’re intellectually mediocre. in a rational world you would be relegated to the dregs of society. but we have to respect your existence because you have “the religion” fuck you
just spit balling this: perhaps we need to give countries an opportunity to improve their human rights record before allowing them to host a world cup tournament
I need a t-shirt saying “nazism didn’t begin with concentration camps. it began with gas-lighting, hate speech, marginalization and dehumanization” for white suburban holiday party season
that thing where the micro blog Android app is posting my replies 3 times is happening again
me: hate speech is bad
twitter: lol cry more lib
mastodon: so..is speech hating on hate speech also hate speech, I’m just saying
point: Twitter is a Nazi playground owned by a sociopathic CEO who’s going to platform terrorists that will eventually unleash political violence
counter-point: Twitter is still a voice for underprivileged, underrepresented communities, charities, animal shelters and small businesses
the normalization of hate speech leads to violence. no matter how much fascists try to hide behind “the marketplace of ideas” or “freedom of speech” this is a fact. hold these motherfuckers accountable for their complicity.
first fire of the season is underway
donald trump was the inevitable culmination of American conservatism. elon musk is the inevitable culmination of American libertarianism. both just big piles of feces masquerading as ideology
bye sarah palin. you were trump 1.0 and i’m glad your career in politics died after being endorsed by trump 2.0
can’t wait for trumps announcement to slowly dismantle the republican party over the course of the next two years
went to the ER this morning for heart palpitations
nurse: has anything changed in your lifestyle for the past few days
me: yes the democrats are on the verge of somehow keeping both the house and the senate
my boys Chris Cornell and Tom Petty look on and upon the flag I received during my naturalization ceremony and the “I voted” sticker I received after my first vote as a citizen. we’re defeating trump fascism. we just need to keep doing it year after year election after election.
the dog has gained too much weight and my wife has warned me to halve his dinner portions and now I’m seeing my not so distant future
Pennsylvania, we did good. take tomorrow off
the only time I voted before this was 29 years ago in India and I didn’t give a shit about whom I was voting for or why. tomorrow I know exactly whom I’ll be voting for with a shitload of shits, so so many shits holy shit