it’s not that hard to spot mediocrity or narcissism or mental illness in your politician. here’s how you do it. you ignore every racist impulse in your brain
narcissists dilemma
donald: do I support this loser who’s going to lose or do I make money off his losing campaign? ok let’s make money because eventually my self validation comes from the money I make off losers
sometimes I feel like he’s judging me for my
scratch scratch scratch
sins
donald: says some shit
master dearie: are you willing to give this to me in writing
donalds lawyers: no
master dearie: sir this is a Wendy’s
really like mehmet “doctor” oz’s new campaign slogan “guess which hand I pooped in come on I’ll give you five guesses”
really like doug mastrianos new campaign slogan “my body my choice, tear my asshole up, Jesus”
mehmet “doctor” oz, bouncing rocks in a parking lot and giggling
mehmet “doctor” oz’s wife: why are you giggling
mehmet “doctor” oz: Pussylvania
giggles heartily
doug mastriano, gop candidate for PA governor having sex
pictures jesus dying on a cross
doug mastriano, gop candidate for PA governor: LORD I’M COMINGGGGGG
“i can declassify a classified document just by thinking about it”: donald trump
“hillary clinton is the exact same as donald trump: 2016 leftist protest voters
dude next to me at the bar started drumming on the bar. turns out he was also a drummer and we had a really good conversation about the benefits and drawbacks of having a rhythm constantly playing inside your head
american conservatism is destined to lose in the long run because it relies completely on white Christian women believing they’re secondary citizens. this is obviously unsustainable. this is why the gop strategy is to indoctrinate white Christian women into a conspiratorial qanon cult where there is no logic or reasoning. trump is just a stupid fucking figurehead. this project is bigger than trump. the purpose of qanon is to disempower white Christian women by chaining them to a racist conspiratorial cult by making them afraid of everything outside of the cult.
love when I meet really nice strangers at the bar
India is a great place to live if you’re privileged and happy and satisfied with existing within your privilege to the point of sociopathy
embarrassing for donald’s trash judge Aileen “glub glub LAWWW” cannon
really like mehmet “doctor” oz’s new campaign slogan “i know the gina in vagina”
really like doug mastrianos new campaign slogan “vote for me so i can make elections optional”
black women are gonna keep donald and fascist criminals accountable while white men sit around holding their dicks
sings to here comes the sun
here comes the pain, do do donald
ron desantis going to prison for human trafficking should be a splendid end to this year of accountability
really like herschel walker’s new campaign slogan “i not smart. my opponent smart. so vote me”
(this is not a fucking joke)
when I say I have faith in the system this is what I mean. donald can try his best to fuck with it, game it, rig it, drag it out, install minions in it, but at a certain point he inevitably runs headfirst into the goddamn brick wall that is foundational American democratic institutions
watching the eagles game last night in a bar
they show bradley cooper in the stadium, who’s an eagles fan
white guy next to me: i love bradley cooper, have you watched silver linings playbook
me: yeah it’s a good movie
white guy: hey you were in the movie
me:
white guy:
me: yes there was indeed an indian actor in the movie
white guy: sorry man just kidding didnt mean to stereotype you
me: no worries man i stereotype white people all the time
restaurants need to come up with a way for patrons to tip other patrons who are being nice to their servers
really like mehmet “doctor” oz’s new campaign slogan “:) (i smile at you)”
really like doug mastrianos new campaign slogan “spread wide the crack in your heart and slide me in”