sitting in my reading nook watching the Phillies game and I watch this gigantic black bear saunter right into my backyard from the side of the cabin and straight towards my bird feeders. I’m immediately like, how dare you. I run towards him waving my arms as instructed by pa state park pamphlets and howling like a werewolf (in retrospect). poor guy (in retrospect) turns back and runs across the road. I run across the road after him, howl some more at him just to make sure he received the message. there’s a car approaching and I’m like, these are probably city slickers from Jersey or new York so I ask the car to stop and point towards the bear now disappearing through the woods. look guys a bear. I chased him from my backyard. the black couple rolls down their window. the woman smiles at me and says, “okay”. I’m like you’re welcome even though they haven’t thanked me. and then I go back to my backyard to think about how the fuck did I chase a gigantic bear with no backup plan for if he chased me back.