Merrick Garland watching the fireworks through the window
Merrick Garlands mother closes the window
Merrick Garlands mother: okay that’s enough now go work on the January 6 indictments
Merrick Garland: please can i
Merrick Garlands mother: after you finish the witness tampering indictment
Merrick Garland: okay ma’am
just stood for my first national anthem as a citizen next to a blazing campfire just like our founding fathers would have wanted me to
how are we going to fight aliens when we can’t even get rid of Donald Trump? yes obviously I’m watching independence day
all I’ve done all day today is sit in my backyard listening to music and watching various woodpeckers feed their babies. the baby count is 1 downy, 1 hairy and 2 red-bellied.
the women for trump sign in my town is gone and I don’t know whether to hope she got over trump or died
any hot take that justifies overturning roe v wade because it should be a state level decision is an obviously terrible take and you’re an imbecile who should be legislatively prohibited from having hot takes of any kind
it’s funny how bears never walk up from a distance they just materialize out of thin air. that’s how quiet they are
I miss when guitarists in music videos played hot solos on mountain peaks
watching 90s mtv music videos because murica
holy shit how much longer are Americans going to subject themselves to gun trauma instead of telling gun toting rural goobers to fuck off
if not now, when
such a magical country being eaten away by greed consumerism religion and racism
2016 was not a hard choice. vote for the smart competent lady over the dumb rapey fascist. you fucking morons. you absolute fucking imbeciles.
I refuse to get anxious about this country while watching a hummingbird gather spiderwebs for her nest. that will happen later in the day
call me a cockeyed optimist or whatever the fuck but I’m reasonably sure that by the time this is over trump will be an outcaste and everyone who pooh poohed the committee will look like a jackass. I mean, it’s already happening.
happy independence day to everyone who believes that Donald Trump is a violent domestic terrorist and deserves to be in prison for the rest of his miserable life. everybody else can eat shit
this country is valuable. not the people, they’re just baggage. what matters is the wildlife, the forests. the ideals upon which this country was founded. fuck the people of this country. they don’t realize what they have. emotionally compromised shits. anyways, happy independence day to whoever loves and really, really appreciates this haven of liberty and wilderness.
what if, and hear me out here, instead of lighting firecrackers we just got together and listened to the song 7 by Prince
if there’s one thing I’ve learnt living in the woods it’s that insects have an alcohol problem
remind me to not climb a tree if I’m being chased by a bear
pat cipollone = final nail in trumps coffin
if Donald Trump was a black Democrat he would already be in prison for the rest of his life and the Democratic party labeled a terrorist organization. but since he’s a white Republican he could still become our next president holy fuck this country
sitting here by the campfire missing nothing of my past because it was all toxic. I’m all today and somewhat tomorrow
playing music by the campfire softly
me: shit I’m a citizen now
raises the fucking volume of the fucking music to fucking citizenship level
the older I get the more I realize that my recollections of my life are only loosely based on my actual life. might as well proactively tweak them to make them farcical and die laughing