motherfuckers will vote for the gop even after a once in 500 years climate catastrophe
new orleans is one of those american cities where you walk around with a constant stupid grin on your face
me at every company event: hey man how you doing I’ve seen your name on slack
god fucking damn I hate getting into a bar conversation with someone who is actually interested in the same things I am so I don’t have to fake interest in the conversation and then slowly turns out they are also mildly transphobic and racist and I have to spend the rest of the night gently explaining power privilege diversity shit to them while I’m six beers in and saying goodbye to our friendship
I am dangerously tired of explaining power, privilege, punching up and not down and the business value of corporate diversity initiatives to white people. this is unpaid labor
really like mehmet “doctor” oz’s new campaign slogan “I can’t find my phone somebody call me”
really like doug mastrianos new campaign slogan “I sad, no money. give money if you hate democracy”
when donald dies please make sure there’s someone next to his bed gently slapping him on his cheeks making kissing noises and telling him he lost Arizona and he lost Georgia
really like mehmet “doctor” oz’s new campaign slogan “i hope avatar 2 is as good as the first one”
really like doug mastrianos new campaign slogan “go back to sleep folks I’m just here installing a five foot jesus on a cross in your kids bedroom”
head of the world bank doesn’t believe in climate change. bro maybe you should be head of a smaller bank like a river bank
my brain: screaming
functional part of my brain: ok time to be functional
my brain: ok screams softly in the background
functional part of my brain: ok you off the clock now
my brain: back to screaming
it’s not that hard to spot mediocrity or narcissism or mental illness in your politician. here’s how you do it. you ignore every racist impulse in your brain
narcissists dilemma
donald: do I support this loser who’s going to lose or do I make money off his losing campaign? ok let’s make money because eventually my self validation comes from the money I make off losers
sometimes I feel like he’s judging me for my
scratch scratch scratch
sins
donald: says some shit
master dearie: are you willing to give this to me in writing
donalds lawyers: no
master dearie: sir this is a Wendy’s
really like mehmet “doctor” oz’s new campaign slogan “guess which hand I pooped in come on I’ll give you five guesses”
really like doug mastrianos new campaign slogan “my body my choice, tear my asshole up, Jesus”
mehmet “doctor” oz, bouncing rocks in a parking lot and giggling
mehmet “doctor” oz’s wife: why are you giggling
mehmet “doctor” oz: Pussylvania
giggles heartily
doug mastriano, gop candidate for PA governor having sex
pictures jesus dying on a cross
doug mastriano, gop candidate for PA governor: LORD I’M COMINGGGGGG
“i can declassify a classified document just by thinking about it”: donald trump
“hillary clinton is the exact same as donald trump: 2016 leftist protest voters
dude next to me at the bar started drumming on the bar. turns out he was also a drummer and we had a really good conversation about the benefits and drawbacks of having a rhythm constantly playing inside your head
american conservatism is destined to lose in the long run because it relies completely on white Christian women believing they’re secondary citizens. this is obviously unsustainable. this is why the gop strategy is to indoctrinate white Christian women into a conspiratorial qanon cult where there is no logic or reasoning. trump is just a stupid fucking figurehead. this project is bigger than trump. the purpose of qanon is to disempower white Christian women by chaining them to a racist conspiratorial cult by making them afraid of everything outside of the cult.
love when I meet really nice strangers at the bar
India is a great place to live if you’re privileged and happy and satisfied with existing within your privilege to the point of sociopathy