i will never stop being mad about what happened on this day two years ago and the fascist piece of shit who did it. and you shouldnt either.
apparently donald trump lost the house speaker election yesterday. he only got one vote. fly this shit over maralago
morning ritual:
1 check my company stock
2 cry a little
3 check tesla stock
4 smile a little
day 4 of sobriety: coffee gets me hjigh
Kevin McCarthy just lost his ninth vote. he’s still got a long way to go to catch up with the number of times Donald Trump lost Arizona
the most productive thing this republican house could possibly do for the next two years is keep voting for house speaker
cardiologist: your heart is 20% more efficient than average but you need to cut down on your drinking
me: what will it pump then
term limits for politicians makes sense because how else would you know whether there are any republicans out there less qualified for the job
I feel very guilty if I break the yolk when I’m frying someone an egg. I know how furious I’d be if someone did that to me
just encountered an extremely reasonable conversation between two suburban white women while i was pretending to browse the multivitamin aisle in the local CVS. within a span of five minutes it covered various topics such as police brutality, social justice, women’s rights and gun control. i agreed with both of them on every single issue. i would like to think much of america falls in this bucket of liberal centrism because nothing else can explain how we survived four years of trumpism.
happy new year to everyone except Donald Trump and his cult, Putin and his minions and the Dallas cowboys and their fanbase
just stepped in poop in the middle of the woods. what kind of an animal poops in the woods like an animal
drove thirty minutes through Pennsylvania mountain soup but now we’re ready to party until next year
brunch place has a 45 minutes wait so my options for spending the next 45 minutes are:
spend dollars at the dollar store
rent a couch at the rent-a-center
bare it all at bare-it-all tanning salon
buy a custom hub cap
trespass on this parking lot with the no trespassing sign
8 mile hike. spotted 29 bird species and a fox. 5 stream crossings. 3 bars. good day.
every time I sit at a bar next to a couple on their first date and the guy gets to the point where he’s telling her how australia is home to nine of the ten deadliest snakes I feel like interrupting to say yes but america is home to the republican party
watching the bad boys mower pinstripe college bowl game named after elon musk’s next child in case he ever gets laid again
come on man, we’re trying to have a civilization here
if only animals no matter how big or small knew how easily they could own libs (me) by just running towards them (me) in the woods
they’re gonna get naked cry in each other’s arms and rub their taints together
I’m okay with the US testing travelers from China for covid. you know why? because I’m not a performative fucking dipshit
listen to the asphalt
today while hiking I came across this thing and kicked it just to see what it was but then I read what it said and i stopped kicking it. Mr President could you change the appearance of this thing so it’s not that kickable
sunset hike at valley forge
saw a sign today outside a house, “Dems are weak men and angry women”. I don’t know man, feels like this sign was put up by a weak man scared of all the angry women in his life