a goose egg


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meanwhile a white supremacist domestic terrorist who killed people sits free in his shit stained castle inciting more terrorism without repercussion

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it’s going to be a spring of trump violence

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it’s been 7 years of trump and Americans are still having a hard time coming to terms with the sociopathy of rich white fascist men

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which part of “free speech absolutism” is stealing money from businesses

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just fucking unreal how donald trump is running for president like he didn’t attempt a violent coup against the United States of America. business as usual folks nothing to see here, just a mentally incapacitated domestic terrorist running for leader of the free world. again.

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if you are planning on doing violent things when donald gets indicted please make sure your phone is charged so you don’t run out of juice while tweeting yourself doing those things #lifehack

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I appreciate that Amtrak engineers apologize when the train enters new jersey. sir it’s not your fault they had to put something to cover up the gaping void between new York and Pennsylvania

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happy that the oscar for best movie song went to “the gang dances their asses off” episode of it’s always sunny in Philly

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the best part about visiting Boston is screaming MASSHOLE at every driver

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traveling on my first Acela and now I’m upset, furious and outraged that we don’t have these trains criss-crossing all over the country instead of jet airplanes

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guy next to me at the bar: are you German

me: no Indian

guy: really? I thought I detected a German accent

me: my sister is German

guy: well someone has to be the bad boy in the family right

me: yes she’s the worst

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“history will judge donald because I’m too much of a coward to do it myself and my morality is manufactured completely out of what people who may vote for me find acceptable”

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wael hates belly dancers because it makes his pants feel tighter

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leaning tower of piss, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

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I do want donald to be incarcerated for trying to attempt a violent coup but it would also make me happy if he’s incarcerated for paying off a porn star to keep secret the fact that he has a dick resembling a toadstool which he uses to conduct illicit affairs

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the lake was placid today unlike the hordes of canada geese converging upon it like a trumpful of insurrectionists

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just listened to a Punjabi rap song that didn’t start with AOON don’t worry I’ve reported it to the AOON police

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my wife got a new job very close to a really good Indian restaurant. I’m so happy for us

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somebody in my department complained to my boss that I’m prickly. how dare you sir, whoever you are. I’m so not prickly. I’m a goddamn delight. I’m such a sweetheart you should be sending me roses every Valentine’s day. also, your mother is prickly.

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if a woman can call her girl friend babe, a man should be able to call his man friend big dick hot bod biceps man

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please stop making films about animals doing cocaine they are basically trump 2024 campaign commercials

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I love that years into the future I’ll be going back through my google calendar because I have nothing better to do and thinking fondly about the haircut I got today and hair

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since she’s a devout loud Christian I wonder how her lord and savior feels about this shit

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bro if you love steering wheels so much why did you even buy a Tesla

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white privilege is the ceo of a tech company openly valuing people purely on the basis of number of lines of code they wrote and not being run out of town on a donkey with townsfolk throwing footwear at him as he retreats into the shadows of the forest never to return again