in the bar, after the sixers win in overtime
old couple approaches me
guy putting his hand on my shoulder: we’re happy for you they won, we’ve been watching you and we were worried
me showing them my fitbit: look at my heart rate this is not good
since thoughts and prayers aren’t working maybe try kicking governor Greg Abbott in the balls five times for each person who dies of gun violence in Texas and see if that works, might have a better chance of success than thoughts and prayers
fascism only exists because men are so fucking stupid and insecure the easiest gig in the world is making them feel they’re being persecuted backed by zero evidence
met a turkey vulture eating a fish and drinking a red bull. gotta stay awake to stay woke
I genuinely do not understand the suspension of disbelief that 90% of republicans in this country are engaging in where everything donald says is true and everyone else is wrong despite the voluminous amount of evidence. how are these people able to run their own lives?
watching the Phillies game in a bar and the guy next to me is mumbling at the TV. bro if you’re gonna talk to the tv at least be loud enough so it can hear you
the sheer amount of physical and mental damage Donald Trump has inflicted upon real human beings just doing their job is fucking enraging www.washingtonpost.com/politics/…
just saw my first Pennsylvania bobolink and I’m feeling mighty blessed
I understand why 30% of this country still supports a criminal terrorist for president because a lot of Americans have literal shit for brains but holy shit man think outside your brain for once
I don’t care why you’re a trump supporter you’re a bad person and fuck you
the republican nominee for president normalizes rape but hark: the white women dance around his nude body reclining among the trees and sing about how he’s going to stop muslims from entering the country
Obama wore a tan suit
good I was this close to moving to the bottom of the ocean
went birding in a local park and what do I see, another bird that traveled thousands of miles from south America to hang out with me and eat insects in my local park, the only other bright red bird in northeast America, the scarlet tanager
the best thing about birding is standing in the middle of town watching a live band, noticing a cigar shaped bird circling overhead, knowing it flew here thousands of miles from south America and appreciating this tiny miracle of nature
my towns first Friday block party theme today is 70s night so to celebrate it I’m gonna marry my mom and conceive myself the very next year
looking forward to every gop goofy goof nominating themselves for the presidency to accuse each other of being funded by soros
donald trump: gives literal aid and comfort to convicted seditionists who literally attempted a violent coup
white suburbanites: yes but joe biden is so old
dave would be proud of wendy’s new ghost pepper spicy chicken sandwich
now that we’ve convicted donalds army for sedition, donald, you better believe we are coming at you next and we are going to win. this might be a good time to order a fake passport and dye your hair a more believable color
donald won’t win. he won’t pardon you. you won’t get away with domestic terrorism. so get used to prison. but please continue to make and release your terrible “oh no i did crime and now i’m serving time how dare they do this to a white man” songs if it keeps you from shitting blood every day
the year of accountability continues. fuck the proud boys and fuck their orange daddy www.cnn.com/2023/05/0…
for every news organization that pulls out of twitter i will donate five dollars to the pull elons head out of his own ass fund
stop messaging me crypto bros if i wanted to buy fake currency i’d buy canadian dollars
functioning melancholic