my divorce lawyer: its been 10 years since your divorce case so we’re going to destroy your physical file. are you okay with that
me: can i tell you how to destroy it
lawyer: no
to those who claim childless couples are gonna die alone, which one of your kids do you think will be willing to die with you
this will mean nothing to anyone outside of montgomery county, PA but incumbent white supremacist election denying asshole Joe Gale was defeated last night in the gop primary for county commissioner. this motherfucker’s loss proves donald trump is fucking done in the philly suburbs
voted in my first primary today. not as exciting as voting in an existential election but still exciting
the only people who are outraged at “woke” beer are shitnipples like renowned twitter intellectual cat turd the 2nd and popular malaysian tweeter who wants to apply for an american visa but his mom only allows him limited computer hours, miles the cheong. who the everlasting shit gives a fuck.
my hairdresser: can you recommend me an indian place, i want to get into indian food
me: oh?
hairdresser: yeah i tasted a samosa the other day but it was too spicy
me: oh.
republicans are targeting parents because they know that having kids turns white Americans into paranoid gullible racist homophobic sociopaths.
what do “free speech absolutists” have to say about all the book banning going on all over the country? nothing because you’re basically a fucking fascist yeah?
holy fuck man we knew rudy was an insane delusional asshole but this is a whole new level
the year of accountability finally comes for area horror show rudolph giuliani abc7ny.com/rudy-giul…
rhonda santy is dismantling Floridas educational system and tourism business for what? to come a distant second in the gop presidential primary? you imbecile. you delusional fucking imbecile.
apparently the artist known as “the weeknd” has reverted to his birth name, “hmp day”
I bought this at a local flea market because it’s a cute frame of an owl and her owlets but now I’m slightly terrified that I’m going to wake up to one of them sitting on my chest with eyes aflame
as an immigrant I am constantly infuriated that the burden of saving this fucking country is on my shoulders as well as the shoulders of everyone in this country who is vulnerable and marginalized and persecuted while privileged whites live in their stupid manicured estates voting for a rapist
is it only me who’s fucking eternally furious to the extent of mental incapacitation that a man who is clearly a violent sexual predator is beloved by a large portion of this country and could be the next president
I’m sorry, you’re still supporting a guy accused of sexual assault by at least 24 women, of rape by his own ex-wife, of sexual harassment by 2 women in his own administration, the guy who lost a defamation suit where a jury concluded he had committed sexual assault, the guy who confessed on video that he sexually assaulted women on a regular basis and who continues to maintain that “stars” like him are “fortunately” able to assault women without consequence? and your reason is naah the jury was biased? naah this is all political? I fucking refuse to wish your mother a happy mother’s day.
who are the people still buying electric Twitter cars made by the company whose CEO is demonstrably incompetent at his job
ppl ask, is elon musk an imbecile or a fascist. I don’t think you can be one without also being the other
if you’re okay with abortion when it’s a product of rape or incest you should be okay with abortion in general because you never cared about the fetus
I don’t have an emotional support system but I do have the ability to leave my body and look down upon everything as a scientific experiment gone wrong
perhaps i might be more open to believing in god if people who believe in god got their stories straight
voting for donald trump as president makes as much sense as voting for the baby shark video as president
reading the food safety inspection report for a local restaurant and horrified by the fact that food handlers were “observed donning bracelets at time of inspection” and a mop was “not hung/inverted to dry following use”
elon musk has hired a new twitter ceo to do his day job of shit-posting on twitter so he can run the company full time
our backyard hummingbird boy is finally here. only two days later than last year. probably took too many selfies on the way