a goose egg


#

i will never stop being mad about what happened on this day two years ago and the fascist piece of shit who did it. and you shouldnt either.

#

apparently donald trump lost the house speaker election yesterday. he only got one vote. fly this shit over maralago

#

morning ritual:

1 check my company stock

2 cry a little

3 check tesla stock

4 smile a little

#

day 4 of sobriety: coffee gets me hjigh

#

Kevin McCarthy just lost his ninth vote. he’s still got a long way to go to catch up with the number of times Donald Trump lost Arizona

#

the most productive thing this republican house could possibly do for the next two years is keep voting for house speaker

#

cardiologist: your heart is 20% more efficient than average but you need to cut down on your drinking

me: what will it pump then

#

term limits for politicians makes sense because how else would you know whether there are any republicans out there less qualified for the job

#

I feel very guilty if I break the yolk when I’m frying someone an egg. I know how furious I’d be if someone did that to me

#

just encountered an extremely reasonable conversation between two suburban white women while i was pretending to browse the multivitamin aisle in the local CVS. within a span of five minutes it covered various topics such as police brutality, social justice, women’s rights and gun control. i agreed with both of them on every single issue. i would like to think much of america falls in this bucket of liberal centrism because nothing else can explain how we survived four years of trumpism.

#

happy new year to everyone except Donald Trump and his cult, Putin and his minions and the Dallas cowboys and their fanbase

#

just stepped in poop in the middle of the woods. what kind of an animal poops in the woods like an animal