a country capable of electing a horrifically mediocre performative imbecile like marjorie taylor greene into office does not deserve to have good things
how much doom can one brain gloom? stay tuned
really like mehmet “doctor” oz’s new campaign slogan “I can spell Senate”
really like doug mastrianos new campaign slogan “we’re here and we’re queer (for Jesus)”
every time I see a fetterman sign in upstate rural pa I feel safe somewhat
bought self serve firewood from a local resident
me: one stack cost 25 bucks but I didn’t have a fiver so I put 30 in his mailbox. I’ll put 20 in his mailbox when I buy another stack tomorrow
wife: why didn’t you just buy two stacks today
me: this is why I shouldn’t be allowed to leave the house unsupervised
I have finally found the hot but not overly vinegary buffalo chicken wings I’ve been looking for in a sports bar in the little Pennsylvania mountain top town of mountain top
really like mehmet “doctor” oz’s new campaign slogan “I’ll change my face if you don’t like it”
I really like doug mastrianos new campaign slogan “tickle my balls and i’ll lick your butthole”
hear me out: if you refuse to say whether you’ll acknowledge the results of an election it should disqualify you from running in it
old people are all haha climate change deal with it like you deal with my diapers also I’m gonna vote for more climate change because why the fuck do I care
soldiers sitting around a campfire in valley forge. one says it’s probably time to turn in because tomorrow’s gonna be another hard day of dysentery and shitting in the snow and another soldier probably me says no let’s stay up put more wood on the fire and here’s why.
just read an article on how Midwestern farmers accept climate change but still vote gop because guess what it rhymes with shite supremacism
ron desantis is trump without the debilitating self defeating psychoses that turned off white suburbanites. the problem is I don’t know what to do with this information.
wife’s watching a show about how a couple bought and fixed up a French chateau meanwhile I’m puttering around in the backyard with a torch investigating mysterious wood powder underneath the shed
imagine doing this for some made up garbage shit called “the royal family”
imagine giving Tom Brady a two minute warning
it’s terrifying that the US armed forces have ppl like doug mastriano on the payroll. doug mastriano is unqualified to operate a lawn mower
the only thing migrant bussing is proving is that “liberal elites” aren’t trumpy sociopaths. also, fuck you
anyone who thinks trump didnt commit crimes is a fool. anyone who thinks trump wont get indicted on multiple counts is a fool. anyone who doesnt think trump will get convicted on multiple counts is a fool. anyone who doesnt think trump will openly incite his cult to violence when that happens is a fool. anyone who doesnt think that there will be violence when he does that is a fool. anyone who doesnt think many of these things aren’t already happening right now is a fool.
it’s so weird that the republican “base” never realizes how the party is making complete chutiyas out of them on a daily basis. how do these huffing earleakers even make it through a day without killing themselves by mistake
just applied to be a poll worker. gonna participate the shit out of this democracy
woman in front of me at the hotel check-in line: excuse me, my room key didn’t work
concierge: room number?
woman looks at her key: 2022
concierge looks at her key
concierge: Hyatt2022 that’s the wifi password
at the bar
guy next to me: I hate the cowboys
me: yeah man fuck the cowboys
guy: yes but please watch your language there’s a lady with you
lady with me: fuck the cowboys bro
guy at the bar just gave me the best compliment I have ever received. he says I’ll always remember you